I Believe
Main Entry: be·lieve
Pronunciation: b&-‘lEv
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): be·lieved; be·liev·ing
Etymology: Middle English beleven, from Old English belEfan, from be- + lyfan, lEfan to allow, believe; akin to Old High German gilouben to believe, Old English lEof dear — more at LOVE
intransitive verb
1 a : to have a firm religious faith b : to accept as true, genuine, or real
2 : to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something
3 : to hold an opinion : THINK (I believe so)
transitive verb
1 a : to consider to be true or honest (believe the reports) (you wouldn’t believe how long it took) b : to accept the word or evidence of (I believe you) (couldn’t believe my ears)
2 : to hold as an opinion : SUPPOSE (I believe it will rain soon)
I believe that when I use the word believe, I am most often “holding an opinion”.
I believe that by strict definition anything is possible, because we don’t know everything there is to know, but I am really not interested in expending any energy thinking about, hoping for, or discussing things which are so damn improbable that I am comfortable shoving them into the might as well be impossible closet. For instance, it is technically possible that tomorrow I will think completely ignoring your child while he screams and throws food in a restaurant, until he reaches out and slaps your face hard (twice) while you respond “Aww… That’s not nice.” (twice) and immediately going back to ignoring him is excellent parenting. However, I am not going to be hedging any of my bets that is actually going to happen. Wayne Campbell said it best, “It might happen, yeah, right, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”
I believe that someday I will die. I also happen to believe that my To Do List is going to be unfinished when I do die, and that pisses me off.
I believe that my house would be cleaner if I did not have two cats and two dogs.
I believe that I am a real entity and the people around me are real entities and are not simply figments of my own, or some other creatures imagination.
I choose to believe in the study results that show drinking a glass of red wine a day is good for your health. I also believe they will do tests that show that doing so is bad for your health. I also believe that I won’t really give a shit.
I believe a few other things, and I have a whole bunch suspicions.
I believe that it is currently April 8th, 2007 in my time zone according to the Gregorian calendar (which I do have some issues with).
One thing I definitely do not believe in, is Easter.
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