Holiday Songs

I like to change the words to songs.  Here are a couple of examples. Santa Got Run Over By My Grandma Santa got run over by my grandma As she drove home from our house, Christmas Eve You may say there’s no such thing as Santa But as for me and State Farm, we believe He was moving much too slowly And there wasn’t room to pass So she threw it into third gear Floored the Porsche and drove it... read more

Yep, still typing

This year marks the 12th Christmas we have not celebrated. We talked about it. We thought about it. We determined it was not providing us with the purported joy. We agreed. We decided. We quit. We told the people we felt we needed to. Our daughter is 11. She grew up not celebrating. While the concept of a child, and what I would teach them, was part of the decision, as a person she has been one of the... read more

No Thanks

It’s just not that magic to me. At 17 I got my first job in retail. Being trapped inside the mall for the entire holiday season, both the purchases and returns, was, let’s call it “unpleasant”. Working with the general public was not something I enjoyed on a normal day, but during the holiday season everything went to extra utter shit. The number of temper tantrums increased... read more

I’ll Have a Hot Buttered Rum

I am not Christian. I understand that a lot of people around the world celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday. Admittedly, I celebrated long after I realized I wasn’t Christian. Back when I decided to stop celebrating Christmas, I was still trying to achieve some sort of balance with certain factions of my blood relatives. They were very religious. It was an important holiday to them, and the... read more

Post 2 of The Things I Like Series

When I was in the third grade, I wrote, directed and acted in my first play. Yes, I was a control freak from the start. When I got older I remained involved with theatre, but gave up on the acting part. As part of our program in college, you had to get on stage, so you knew what it was like from that side. I hated it from that side. From the other side, well it was quite a love/hate relationship. It... read more