Protected: My Lack of Proper Parenting Skillz, Let Me Show You Them

Kid: Why aren’t we assassins? You get to kill people. For money. Me: Well, that’s a career goal you could set. Kid: Okay, good. Just making sure you’d approve. Me: *shrug* I think goals are good. Kid: Because I think that would be a good job, and you don’t have to kill a person if you don’t agree that they should be killed. Me: Well… I mean there is a matter of work... read more

Anyone have a taser I can borrow?

Me: teens are invading my house Me: well at least one is Me: and that feels a lot like way too many Friend: ew Me: it also means I have to put on pants Friend: if you stop buying pants Friend: eventually Friend: you won’t have any to put on Me: and then I could refuse to allow the teens over, for their sake, and legal reasons Me: teen is IMing me telling me he is heading over soon Me: guess he did... read more

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