Bitchy McBitcherson's Blog

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  • la fleur de Not Sonic

    On Friday, I was at Lakewinds. I stumbled exhausted around the store and gathered a few items so that I could cook something for dinner.

    I’ve been having a lot of headaches lately. Some migraines, some sinus pressure headaches. I went through a stretch many years ago, where I had a headache which lasted well over a year. This is not THAT bad, at all, but still, it hasn’t been fun.

    Anyhow, on Friday, I’d been having a particularly crappy day. I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep since the puppies came, and the weather has been up and down, which would be fine, if it didn’t bother my sinuses so much. That day in particular, I’d been battling a migraine, and I wasn’t really in the mood to cook, but I certainly wasn’t in the mood to go out, particularly on a Friday night. So, while I wanted to crawl into bed and be left alone, what I needed to do was shop for things I could use to prepare a nutritious and reasonably tasty dinner.

    I got into line with my selections, and the person who was doing the bagging asked how I was.

    Now, I actually HATE that question. It is pretty much my least favorite question. I know, I know, how terribly unfriendly of me. I grasp that it is standard in this society. Two people interact, and one person makes a “HOWAREYOU?” noise with their mouth, and the other person is supposed to make a “FINE” noise with their mouth. It’s like two dogs meeting and sniffing butts. It’s just saying, “Yes, I am a human and not an alien (or Replicant) and I know how to do the human things.” The problem is, I am an alien. I hear the “HOWAREYOU?” noise, and I think about what the words actually mean. I can’t not think about it.  I hear it, and I find myself considering, Self? How are you? Whatever it is that I am trying to get done is interrupted for a bit of self reflection and overview of my day to determine the answer to the question, which is being asked 99% of the time by a random person who doesn’t care how I am in the slightest. Then, I must throw away what I’ve thought of, and force myself to make the “FINE” noise, even though it is a lie. I hate being pushed into lying. So, yeah, I am not a fan of this societal nicety in any way, shape, nor form.

    He asked, and while I resent the question, and society in general for making it a common question, I don’t resent the asker, they are just doing as they’ve been taught. However, I didn’t feel good enough to bother with lying and I replied, “Horrible,” because I felt horrible.

    He blinked.

    The cashier rung me up. He bagged my stuff. I paid. He gave me my bag.

    Then, the cashier said, “Are you in a hurry?”

    Now, this was not a phrase I was used to as part of the end of a transaction, so even though I heard the words, I did not understand.

    “Excuse me?” I inquired.

    “Are you in a hurry?” and when I stills stared at her beautiful face blankly, she tried again, “Do you have a minute?”

    “Yes?”

    “Okay, hold on just a minute,” and she ran off.

    I waited, putting pressure on my head trying to keep the comparably low grade, but still very noticeable, migraine pain from making something pop.

    Soon she ran back with a bouquet of flowers and handed them to me, “You said you were having a horrible day, so I wanted you to have these.  I got them for my sister.  I was supposed to see her tonight, but I just found out my plans changed, so I’d like you to have them instead.”

    That is how I came home from my trip to the grocery store with groceries, flowers, and a story to tell my family.

    Now, this was an act by an individual. It isn’t a Lakewinds company policy. Yet, it is still customer service. I was a customer and an employee was interacting with me. A company chooses who to employ. Those choices reflect upon the company.

    It was a surprising and spontaneous gesture, and it really put a different spin on my totally not looked forward to outing to pick up some dinner groceries.

    It is in very stark contrast to a pleasant outing gone wrong due to the personal interaction of the sort of person that Sonic Drive-In chooses to employ. More on that thought another day.

     

  • The Poo Blog

    Yes, as a matter of fact, I have noticed that I talk about shit a lot.

    I don’t have a fetish or anything, (and now I am horrified by the possible search terms that will lead people to this entry) but a large chunk of my mental and physical energy is taken up by these foster puppies, and crap features a lot in this matter.

    So, as I last mentioned, there was magic powder and all the poo stopped.

    This is kind of awesome, because at the height (the depth?) of the poofest, I was thinking that duct tape or a cork might be in order.

    However, in reality, I understand that waste must exit the body as a part of general good health.  Two of the puppies were not doing their #2 business, and this was worrisome, both for health reasons, and for assplosive possibilities when it finally happened.

    So, after 24 hours of lack of puppy bowel movements, I contacted the vet AGAIN.

    The vet gave me some advice, which I was already aware of in general, but wasn’t sure if it was okay on such young puppies.  So, I followed that advice, and Webster began doing his doody, but Mindy was still a no go.

    Which eventually led me to calling the vet again.

    I’ve spoken with this poor vet every single day since the puppies arrived, and seen her most of those days. Yes, I do a lot of work for the rescue by caring for these puppies, but it is nothing compared to the time and energy she puts in. She is very busy, and yet I am talking to her damn near every day, mostly about SHIT.

    So, I made her a bedtime story comic, because… Well, mostly because I am totally fucking delirious at this point.

    Now, I’ll share it with you too.

    And there you have it. I have lost my mind.

    Time to go feed the puppies again, and hope for more puppy poop.

  • Today I Showered

    Yes. I admit it.  This is big news. I meant to shower yesterday, but I was too busy stumbling around and being incoherent and dealing with puppies. It was important that I do it too, because I was gross. I mean, really and truly.

    See, I mostly smelled like soured formula and puppy poo. You know what is really strange? The puppies, who are the source of all this unpleasant smell, don’t actually smell bad themselves. They smell more like… cookies? I don’t know, they smell surprising sweet when they are not actively making one of the bad smells. The bad smells linger on me like… a bad lingering smell.

    Alright, I didn’t only stumble around. I left the house, and ran some errands and whatnot. I even made a dinner for my family (and guests) that involved a couple of hearts, and I think somebody took food photos, but it wasn’t me. Then today there were two airport runs and grocery shopping.

    Also, always, the acquisition of more newspapers. Newspapers are important around here. I almost regret reading all my news online for the past 7 years, because if I’d been getting and keeping the paper all those years, I might have enough stored up for these puppies to leak all over.

    But mostly, in between very difficult moments of functionality, I’ve stumbled around incoherently. Because of all the tired.

    I just finished making up 26 ounces of puppy formula. This will last me for 3 feedings (times 3 puppies) and then I’ll mix more formula. I can’t do it on auto-pilot either, I must think about it each time, as the recipe keeps changing based on their health needs. Because of all the poo.

    Yesterday the vet came over and provided us with magic white powder. I put a little tiny bit of the powder into each puppy’s bottle last night. It made the horrific never-ending, onslaught of diarrhea stop. Yay!

    Then, at some point, all the poo stopped. Now, I am stressed by the lack of poo. Are you kidding me? Ugh. So, I am now on poo watch and adjusting the formula yet again. Shit happens, and if it doesn’t, I’ll be calling the vet again tomorrow. The poor vet must be so sick of me and all my whining about poo. Too much poo! Not enough poo! Poo Poo POO!

    I need to go to sleep. Soon I will be up again to feed the puppies and hopefully clean up some poo. I hope.

    In related and awesome news, a photo I took of Mindy yesterday went mildly viral and has been viewed over 3000 times. Also, it made cuteoverload.

    The puppies are adorable, and little glimpses of personality are starting to emerge. I am looking forward to getting to know them better in the coming weeks, and helping to match them to a forever home. I think they will all make wonderful pets.

  • Little Mindy

    I am trying to convince myself that a feeding tube is just a tool, and not a symbol of my failure to get her to eat the “right way”.

    It isn’t really a fact that I’ve fully integrated into my thinking yet, but I am working on it. Certainly, it is more important that she get the damn hydration and nutrition she needs to thrive, than for me to feed some personal ego issue.

    I can always give her extra cuddle time to make sure she doesn’t miss out on the social stimulation aspects of nursing/bottle feeding.

    Introducing Mindy from Ms Tori on Vimeo.

  • Mostly Shit, but also Pics

    We have three puppies now. Darby improved enough to come back on Friday. She was still being tube fed, but showed interest in sucking again, so I first tried her on a bottle, and it took a bit of coaxing but she eventually got the hang of it and downed 2 ounces. The next feeding, I prepared 2 ounces for her again, and she was sad that there wasn’t more.

    I’m using this to a large extent to keep track of things for myself, so it will go on and on and on. Also, there will be a ton of TMI, so you might want to just scan down for photos and skip all the words.

    The next feeding I gave her 3 ounces, which she sucked down, but she wasn’t able to keep it down. So, now she is getting 2 ounces per feeding but being fed more often.

    Now we are two days in to having 3 puppies, and I am a bit tired. They need to be fed every 4 hours, or so, and there are three puppies and one of them isn’t a good eater, so it takes a while to get the feeding done. Plus, there are lots of little tweaks that need to happen to the formula, as we try to get the puppies to stop having diarrhea.

    Diarrhea.

    That’s really the main source of the tired. There is A LOT of it, and it is messy and hideous and it smells SO AWFUL. Like hit you in the face, wow, WTF? awful. Plus, it has to be cleaned IMMEDIATELY or the puppies step in it or fall in it or just generally cause even more mess and then there needs to be baths and more laundry.

    If only there was a market for selling puppy diarrhea, I could make a fortune. We keep making little adjustments, and trying different things to settle their stomach, but I have not discovered the key. The vet was over again tonight and brought some more stuff to try on the puppies to make their poo be normal.

    So far, it has not worked.

    Look, we’re not just talking about slimy kind of runny poo, we are talking projectile liquid shooting out of tiny furry butts, with sound effects and, don’t forget about the SMELL. It isn’t good.

    They cannot help it. Their life has been difficult. It was going along just fine, and then their mom was hit by a car and quit feeding them, and then it was 4 days before they got to us and were offered appropriate puppy formula. Their little digestive systems had lost the digestive groove, and formula isn’t as good as mom’s milk anyway. Still, it stinks, and happens too often and it means that there is very little rest and sleep. I’ve been told that I cannot just duct tape their butts shut, so instead I must try more probiotics, adjustments to formula, medicine, and generic Pedialyte stuff. I hope tomorrow is the day that it stops, or at least slows way down.

    Really, the puppies are amazing. They are changing so fast, and just becoming more aware of their surroundings and developing slowly from squirmy, fuzzy, wobbly lumps, into small dogs.

    Webster is a total chowhound. He eats voraciously, and is happy to eat as much as we’ll let him. He sucks from the bottle efficiently and enthusiastically. He laps yogurt and formula from bowls enthusiastically, but far less efficiently.  He weighed in at 2.85 lbs today (up from two). Yesterday he reached the stage of development where the idea of play entered his little puppy brain. His sisters were baffled. He tried to bound a little, but he cannot even walk properly yet, so he just sort of gives one pounce and falls over, but it is adorable. He is totally becoming aware of the world around him, and notices us now. He even wags in response to us sometimes. He “sings” when he eats. So cute.

    Darby is a very enthusiastic eater, but I’ve found that she pretty consistently spits up her whole meal if she gets to eat as much as she’d like to.  I am keeping her to no more than 2 ounces at a time, but feeding her more often.  This seems to be working, but she is frustrated to be stopped at two ounces.  She is at 2.05 lbs (up from 1.6). Today she started becoming noticeably more aware of her surroundings and is showing some interest in playing with Webster. It is beyond adorable. She also sometimes wags in response to people.

    Mindy is troublesome still. I ended up having to use the feeding tube on her again, and it is kind of up and down on the feeding. Even when she does suck on the bottle, she just isn’t very efficient. She often gets tired before she has eaten enough. She refuses to even try unless I set her up with the bottle and a stuffed animal kind of hiding the bottle. She’d rather just suck on the stuffed animal getting no food, than suck on the bottle alone. Poor orphan puppy. I feel so bad when she is clearly hungry, but she just doesn’t want what I have to offer. I keep trying different techniques, and today we’ve made some progress, so it was an all bottle day, no feeding tubes. She only weighs 2 lbs (up from 1.7). I am hoping to get more significant gains soon, especially once the diarrhea can be brought under control. Tonight she finally caught on to the thought that her siblings might be interesting for something other than body heat.

    I’m so looking forward to getting to know them better, and watching their personalities emerge. Curious about puppy development stages? This site has a decent overview. You can see how the events of last week were quite traumatic for these little ones. It is now my job to make up for it and prepare them to be terrific family pets.

    Sure, that looks comfy.
    Mindy and Indy

  • Promised Pics

    I am too wiped out to type much now, so I’ll give you what you want instead.  Puppy pictures!  You already saw Mindy, so here is –

    Darby:

    sleep.
    Darby and my husband, both sleeping.

    Webster:

    om nom nom nom

  • I Am Sleepy

    First of all, let me just start out by apologizing for the lack of photos. I know, I know, you are just sitting there waiting for cute puppy pictures and video. You might even be hitting refresh, over and over, like a rat trying to get rewarded with a pellet. I swear, I’ll get to it, eventually. Or, it is all a cruel experiment to see how long you will keep looking for puppy photos if none ever appear.  One or the other.

    Secondly, the announcement you’ve all not been waiting anxiously for. They have names now. Webster and Mindy are here with us. Auxiliary Teen named Webster, Webster. I asked her if it was because he is small and black, but she did not get the reference (which is probably for the best), so apparently not. I call him Sir Webster Burps A Lot, I assume you can guess why. The naming of Webster made me super tempted to name the girl Merriam, but I ended up going with Mindy, for Mini-Indy. Actually, that’s not true. I hadn’t decided on Mindy yet, I had just mentioned it as a possibility, but my mother started calling her Mindy, so I figured, good enough.  The third one, the vet named Darby (sp?) after her mother-in-law, apparently. I know no further story behind that.

    As to the lack of photos, all the puppies really do, is eat, sleep, and poop, none of which makes for great picture-taking, but the main problem is how tired I am. I am all in, aweary, beat, beaten,bleary, broken-down, bushed, dead, done, done in, dozy, drowsy, drained, exhausted, fatigued, jaded, knackered, limp, loggy, overfatigued, overtaxed, overworked, played out, pooped, prostrate, run-down, sapped, sleepy, sluggish, slumberous, somnolent, spent, tired, wearied, burnt out, tapped out, tuckered out, washed out, wiped out, and just plain old worn, with or without the out.

    I mean, they sleep a lot, but they poop really a lot, a lot. I think they poop 50% of their body weight every day, or more. Maybe 200%. It is difficult to tell, because I don’t want to muck up my scale. But, really, A LOT OF POOP. Also, sadly, it is still horrible scary nasty, we are not completely healthy yet, diarrhea poop, so it is extra gross, with a side of sauce.

    The eat part, that is where we have been having some trouble. The other girl is still with the vet. I am waiting for a report on her. I am hoping she can come back soon, not that I need more work, but I know she’ll be much mentally better off snuggled with other puppy bodies instead of by her self. We were also having trouble getting Webster to eat enough, but we got different bottles and those nipples he responded too much better and he is now a voracious little sucking machine.

    Mindy, ate okay the first feeding. She did not eat well the second feeding. She ate okay again the third feeding, but not on the fourth. I didn’t worry too much, and waited for the fifth feeding. However the fifth feeding came around and she was lethargic and just not up for eating, she only wanted to sleep. I stuck my finger in her mouth and felt a faint sucking reflex, but most felt a troubling dryness. She was getting a little dehydrated. I called the vet, and the vet came over and taught me how to stick a feeding tube into her stomach and insert food directly. Yay for new useful new skills! This gave her the energy boost she needed, and also let me be less concerned should she have more trouble.

    At her next feeding, Mindy ate like a champ. She still doesn’t eat as easily and enthusiastically as Webster, but I’ve just kept stubbornly trying to motivate her until she eats. I haven’t had to use the feeding tube again.

    I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I’m tired. It is time to go run errands, then feed the puppies again (and the cats), and then maybe sneak a nap in before dinner.

    So umm…

    I am a little incoherent and can’t think of how to finish off the post. You guys can imagine the final line yourselves. Make it something devastatingly witty, please.

  • Puppy Names?

    Along with caring for these puppies, we’ll get to choose their foster names.  Leave name suggestions in the comments.  I know, easier once they have personalities and photos.

    Also – first pic!

    Me, with the as yet unnamed girl puppy.

    ETA: The smallest one, who had to go stay with the vet last night still isn’t doing well.  The vet is still trying.  Poor little puppy.  🙁

  • Pupdate

    The puppies arrived at our house late, because they arrived late at the clinic for check in. Also, when they arrived they were a mess and dehydrated. They needed to be cleaned, given fluids, and fed.

    The rescue I work with took in six of the nine puppies. Somebody else took three of the six, and we are supposed to have three.  We got the smallest ones because we live closer to the clinic, meaning closer to the vet. One bigger all black boy, who weighs 2 lbs, and a little girl who is mainly black with some tan shepherd markings (baby Indy style), weighing in at 1.7 lbs and another little girl with similar markings who weighs in at 1.6 lbs. Sadly the tinier little girl was having troubles last night and was unable to keep formula down, so she had to go stay with the vet. If all goes well, she’ll be back with us today.

    The pups are about 3 weeks old, and YAY, they go potty on their own, so I don’t have to stimulate them with a wash cloth to get them to go. Actually, mommy had been raising them very well and keeping things clean, so they both exit the bed to potty on the paper and keep their bed clean.  Such good little tiny things. They walk, sort of, but look like drunken sorority girls in high heels, and they tip over a lot.

    The poor little things miss their mom a lot. They do not understand or like the bottle, and desperately want to nurse off of a body instead. I try to give them the bottle, and they grunt and whine, “I can do it!” and struggle away to bury soft little mouths into my clothing, pushing with their paws and trying to find milk. It is a struggle to get enough food into them. I am hoping they learn rapidly, before we have to result to tubes.

    They all have diarrhea. Hopefully this is from the makeshift food they were given yesterday and will quickly resolve on formula.

    Pics later, although since they are dark colored with dark eyes, it will be hard to get good photos of them.

    I’ve had very little sleep, getting up with them several times during the night. Xander thought this meant I should feed him too. Actually Xander is both fascinated and horrified by the little squirmy wormies. I don’t know if he has any idea what they are, but he is reacting differently to them than he did to the older Corbin and Laney.

    Oops, one is up again, time to do more puppy care.

  • Send in the Puppies

    Late on Monday night I got an email from V. A litter of orphaned puppies had been handed over to a rescue group up north (think holy shit, even colder), and they were looking for rescues in the tropical Twin Cities that could take in the puppies. The mother had been hit by a car. The puppies are young, and need a lot of care and bottle feeding.

    Now, we normally take a break between fosters, and this is a really busy week. Our teen had a birthday yesterday, and we’ve got an extra teen visiting from California for two weeks. With all the outings and shopping (no sales tax on clothing in MN) that I figured they had planned, it didn’t seem like a good time to take on such a time-consuming responsibility. Auxiliary Teen looked up at me with giant blue eyes and told me puppies were better than shopping.

    Still? Orphan puppies? I mean, common. That tugs at the heart-strings. Plus, not content to just rely on my regular level of big fat sucker-ness, V sent me some photos of tiny sad lonely orphan puppies. They were not singing “It’s the Hard-Knock Life”, but still.

    My mother is in town for a visit. Her super awesome and amazing cat, Neo, died suddenly from cancer, so my mother came here to help me with Laney. Sharp needle puppy teeth sinking into your toes through your socks is totally proven grief therapy. It’s like acupuncture, but with needles that haven’t been sterilized. Okay, so it isn’t FDA approved, but what to they know? My mother agreed to stay a little longer if I took in the puppies, to help me until they were ready to move on to regular food.

    So, I emailed V early Tuesday morning and agreed to take in some bottle babies. Auxiliary Teen said, “Yay!” when I announced my decision. I assume she is planning to sneak at least one into her suitcase to take home. I am planning not to notice.*

    The puppies will be transported to the metro area by volunteers today, and then checked into the rescue officially and checked over by a vet. I expect to get them about 7 PM. I’m not sure how many we will get yet. The full litter is 9, but 9 would really be brutal to provide that level of care for, so they’ll be split up amongst different fosters and rescues. I’ve agreed to take as many as 6, but hopefully it will be less.

    Today I have a bunch of errands to run, since tonight and tomorrow will be the all puppy all the time channel, stuff needs to happen today. I also need to set up a puppy preschool area in the house. I am so lucky that our landlord is a soft touch when it comes to animals, so they are supportive of us doing this. They foster animals themselves. Still, I work very hard to make sure their beautiful house does not suffer because of it.

    * Okay, okay Auxiliary Teen’s mom, I’ll notice.  I promise.