Tag: hostess skillz

  • Anyone have a taser I can borrow?

    Me: teens are invading my house
    Me: well at least one is
    Me: and that feels a lot like way too many
    Friend: ew
    Me: it also means I have to put on pants
    Friend: if you stop buying pants
    Friend: eventually
    Friend: you won’t have any to put on
    Me: and then I could refuse to allow the teens over, for their sake, and legal reasons
    Me: teen is IMing me telling me he is heading over soon
    Me: guess he did not forget
    Friend: wth, you let BOYS in???
    Me: well
    Me: they like video games
    Me: and make less noise
    Me: and they talk about clothes and boys less
    Me: they smell worse…
    Me: and eat more
    Me: it is a toss up
    Me: woohoo
    Me: I put on pants – and now, not only am I less embarrassing to my daughter for when her friend arrives.
    Me: I found $25 cash in the pocket!
    Friend: hmm
    Friend: maybe I should put pants on
    Me: these are like the best pants ever
    Friend: really
    Me: of course the teen instigator of this pant wearing
    Me: will eat more than $25 worth of food
    Friend: don’t feed him
    Friend: they just keep coming back if you feed them
    Me: don’t you think he might become dangerous if I don’t feed him?
    Friend: keep a taser handy