Dear Neighbors,
Hi. I’m sure you’ve noticed that we’ve moved into your neighborhood. For one thing there was the whole giant moving truck thing. For another a couple of you come and stare out your windows at us whenever we are doing something in the front yard. For another thing, we clear our driveway and the sidewalk when it snows.
The last time it snowed, it snowed only lightly, but we still cleared it. I’m sure that made some of you talk. Crazy people clearing now when there is so little of it. I notice that only one other person on the street bothered to clear theirs.
The thing is? I’m from California and I don’t fucking like snow on the driveway, not even a thin layer. It stays there and then it freezes to a hard slippery layer, and then everything that we need to do on our driveway is more difficult to do safely, like walking, or driving.
So, when your kids come and get into snowball fight in THIS front yard? And cause a bunch of snow to get in the driveway as they throw shit and make snow balls out of the snow piles we’ve carefully cleared from the driveway? It pisses me right the fuck off.
And yes, it is important that the driveway be cleared off with the noisy shovels after 10 PM at night, because I don’t want to get up early in the morning to do it, and I don’t care if you don’t like the noise, and go ahead and keep staring at me out your window.
I don’t want kids playing in the yard. I don’t want to be your friend. What I want is a moat and a 20 foot wall, but this is a rental.
– Cranky, Un-neighborly, Unfriendly Me