I like to change the words to songs. Here are a couple of examples.
As she drove home from our house, Christmas Eve
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and State Farm, we believe
And there wasn’t room to pass
So she threw it into third gear
Floored the Porsche and drove it straight up Santa’s ass
There were tire tracks on his nuts
And all the little reindeer
Had identical marks upon their butts
As she drove home from our house, Christmas Eve
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and State Farm, we believe
Boy that really must have throbbed
But come on over to our house
We’re all having venison shish ka bobs
‘cuz they suspended it last year
Using words like “speed” and “wreckless”
And the letters D U I, or so I hear
As she drove home from our house, Christmas Eve
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and State Farm, we believe
She’s been taking it so well
She just wants to find my grandma
Shoot her dead and send that ancient bitch to hell
All the Elves are dressed in black
They are sitting at the North Pole
Playing cards, drinking beer and smoking crack
As she drove home from our house, Christmas Eve
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and State Farm, we believe
Go Granny Go Granny Go Granny Go
O Festivus, O Festivus
A celebration for the rest of us
O Festivus, O Festivus
For all the worst and best in us
You need no tinsel to distract
The ornaments, just leave them packed
O Festivus, O Festivus
And saving money is a plus
We gather ’round a simple pole
Lack of excess tis our goal
O Festivus, O Festivus
Aluminum, it does not rust
We list the ways we’ve been let down
Said with a smile or with a frown
O Festivus, O Festivus
No need for smalltalk to discuss
Challenged to the feats of strength
No need to show any restraint
O Festivus, O Festivus
Continued ’til there’s tears and fuss
O Festivus, O Festivus
Some pleasure doth thou bring us
O Festivus, O Festivus
Enjoyment for the rest of us