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How Many Fits of Cursing Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

I am tired. I have grease smudges on my face. My hands hurt and two nails are broken. Not in that “eek I broke my nails” way, that isn’t really my style, but in that ripped down “fuck THAT hurts” way. However there are now two working headlights on the car. Unfortunately I didn’t finish the work early enough this morning, so my car is gone for the day again. Not a huge deal, but it is in need of an oil change so I’d rather it not make the longer commute. My commute down the hallway in my jammies is much easier on the car.

The manual said to remove six clips, which I did. This allowed me to remove the “engine cover” some dumbass plastic piece of limited use. This I also did. The instructions up to that point were clear and things were okay. Next it points out that on the “right side” by which they mean the passenger side there are some extra steps. I was working on the driver’s side, so I skipped those steps. I removed the connector. Then came time to move the bulb cover, an annoying rubber thing. I tried and tried, but there was no way that I could. There was not enough room for my hand, and my hands are not huge.

So I removed the fuse box cover, not a suggested step, but it gave me a little extra room to maneuver and messed with it and messed with it and messed with it until I got the outside ring of bulb cover. Yay? No. The cover refuses to come off. The rubber is still firmly attached to the bulb and it is putting pressure on the bulb and moving it instead of coming off.

The manual just says to turn the cover counterclockwise and remove it and goes on to the next step. It makes it sound pie easy.

I turn to the internet and discover other people complaining that the driver’s side is a real PITA. Okay, little manual writing monkeys. Here is an idea. Do not reserve your extra instructions for the side that is easier. While I found plenty of people complaining about it, they were complaining about the step before where they were trying to get the outside ring to detach. I resorted to posting on a forum requesting more details. Nobody responded. I could post a photo of a naked tit and get 100 comments in the first 5 minutes, but getting a useful response to a problem is a whole different story.

Eventually I go back outside and channel my father and just decide I do not need to be careful about the fragile glass bulb and instead I should go ahead and force it. I force it, and it eventually gives. The rubber has threading on it to help it grip very tight. It is never going to come off breezily. I still have not won because there is a clip shown in the manual, except I cannot see the fucking thing, and it is difficult to feel and they just say to remove it and don’t give any more detail on how. I fiddle and fiddle and finally get it undone. It is at the clip stage that I rip the two nails.

I replace the burnt out bulb with the new one. I reassemble the headlamp portion and test it out. It works.

Next it is time to put the engine cover back on. This goes smoothly except for dropping one of the clips. Of course I cannot drop it in an area where it will fall easily through to the ground. I drop it where it is caught in something out of site and out of reach. The cover is now secured by five clips instead of six.

I hope the neighbors enjoyed all the swearing.

In other news, the move to the other computer has gone more poorly than I was even expecting and I am very slowed down on all my projects because of it. I am typing this as I try to get some other things copied that I did not expect to need to move in this particular fashion.

Oh yeah, and the worst thing about doing car crap first thing in the morning, is that I have to put on pants.

Turn Around Bright Eyes
Is it time for bed?

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