Jaw Breaker

Two nights ago, my friend’s dog tried to kill me.

Okay, not really, but that is what I keep telling my friend because it is more fun that way. The dog in question is still very much a puppy, and was simply doing a puppy face nip and lick attack, only she did it by frantically (and impressively) launching herself from the ground – 5 feet into the air. I was caught very off guard and did nothing to protect myself, or correct her.

She hit the underside of my jaw with her jaw wide open while I was mid sentence. It slammed my jaw shut, scrambled my brain and luckily the word she caught me on was such that I only bit a very small side portion of my tongue. She got me with a tooth on each side of the underside of my jaw, which is why I keep telling him that his dog was trying to rip my throat out. One side left a little pointed bruise and the other side had a pinpoint scratch surrounded by a welt. At first there was actually a visible pinch mark in the center too, where her teeth had come together in her nip. I had a headache for about 12 hours.

I am not even a tiny bit mad at the dog. She was not attacking, she was just doing what comes natural and it hasn’t been trained out of her yet. I am not even a tiny bit upset with my friend. He only got her recently and legitimately has not had enough time to train this behavior out of her yet. He is aware, and is working on it. He also has every reason to expect me to be puppy savvy enough that he not have to be on his absolute top guard with her, it isn’t like he had her around a toddler (and he did correct her as I stood there too brain stunned to do anything but hold my aching jaw).

The welt is gone, but that spot still hurts a lot, which was really starting to bug me. It is nothing. There is no significant bruising or sign of damage. Just a little red mark that looks like the end of very pathetic attempt at a zit. I am not one of those people that is usually oversensitive to pain. Because of various health conditions I’ve actually lived with pain every day of my life for over two decades, so why the fuck was I being such a baby?

Today as I was washing my face I finally figured out what the problem was. She actually nailed me with that tooth precisely at the bad point in my jaw on that side of my face. That is where it had been sawed apart and screwed back together almost 15 years ago, and has always remained bone sore to pressure (have a matching spot on the opposite side, but luckily she didn’t tag it). So, it is still sore, but now that I realize there is a physical reason why it still hurts so much, I feel less like a whiny wimp.

Cold (bland) Turkey
My Grandfather

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