Bitchy McBitcherson's Blog

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  • The World Didn’t End

    One of my clients just called, and asked me to take on a new client. He has a buddy in the midst of major computer problems who needs lots of help, starting today and ongoing…

    I said NO.

    I did it. I turned him down. Between the hating to turn down money, and the hating to disappoint a client thing, I wasn’t certain what words would actually come out of my mouth as I took a breath and opened it to speak.

    I did give him some advice to pass on about the current problem, but today I am staying home and dealing with stuff that is already in my to do list. I am not going over to beat my head against a wall dealing with whatever fuckup has happened with this guy’s computers and network.

    I am shocked I did it. I also feel very anxious, but… I feel just a tiny bit impressed with myself.

  • In response to a friend Re: Credit Card Companies

    about this rant

    I have had more than my share of financial problems. It is horrific to be faced with a cascading series of overdraft fees or late payment fines. Totally overwhelming. Yet, it was still my responsibility. Did it suck? Yes it totally did. The credit cards spelled out the penalties and the interest maximums though. Using them if I couldn’t afford those penalties was a choice I was making, gambling on things not going wrong. In my life, gambling on things not going wrong is usually a bad bet.

    I basically hate most laws. They cost us money and don’t do what they were supposed to do and are rarely the answer to anything. If people were properly taught personal economics and then made the effort to actually put into practice what they learned, the fucked up card companies would not get enough customers to stay in business.

    What I have learned from personal experience is most important for me is, DO NOT PLAY OSTRICH. If things are going poorly it is probably not even one wrong move away from a rapid downhill slide, it is probably going to be a lack of any action, a pause, a beat to be pissed off or feel sorry for myself, that is going to start the cascade of doom. If somebody raises a rate, a quick call can often lower it right back down, same with a late fee. That is assuming that a fuck up is rare. When you have a history of doing it right, that goes a long way.

    I do my best to remember that money is not mine unless it is in my hands. I don’t care what people owe me, if I count on that money as if it is actually mine and spend ahead, then I need to be prepared to accept the consequences. (Hell, money may not be mine even after it is supposedly mine. Remember last year, when ING ate all of my money and left me, well not penniless since we have that jar of change downstairs, but damn close. Man, I hate ING.) If I owe money, and cash comes into my hands, that cash is not my money either. If I buy a cup of coffee with money I have in my hand, while I am carrying debt, then I am borrowing for that cup of coffee.

    I immediately stop with all purchases that are not absolutely necessary (and I need to be disciplined about what constitutes necessary). Either admit to my friends, “Sorry, I can’t afford that.” or make up something about being too busy. I refuse to just go along for a dinner or an event and go further into debt even though it is more fun to go, and less embarrassing. I do my best to avoid rationalizing myself into going because “I already said I would”, and quite frankly because I would love to be distracted from my financial woes. Immediately tell people that I need more work and then take the work. Cleaning toilets for money is not beneath me, and pretending that I can’t do it because then I might miss out on my search for the right work would just be an excuse for me.

    If I am going to need to do the hideous, and ask somebody to help me out, admit it sooner rather than later. Warn them ahead of time so they feel less pressure to say yes because I still have time to look for other options. Do it before I have stacks of late fees. Most importantly if I am going to do it, be honest and ask for enough that it will actually stand a decent chance of halting the avalanche, all of course with an upfront schedule and plan for how it is getting paid back.

    Anyhow, it is absolutely not a matter of not being familiar with both financial hardship AND financial irresponsibility, but credit card companies were not the root cause of my fuck ups. I was.

  • Senators Don’t Think Americans Should Behave Responsibly

    Senate Panel Slams Abusive Credit Card Practices

    Credit cards can be used to the consumer’s benefit. Credit cards can be abused to the consumer’s downfall. They can be used in a great many ways in between. The fact that the majority of Americans use them poorly says a lot more about our education system and lack of parenting in this country than it does about the credit card companies. They are in business to make money. If people cannot be bothered to read before entering an agreement that can seriously impact the financial health of their family, they are the ones who need fixing.

    Here is an excerpt from the article about one of the people who testified at the hearing:

    Wesley Wannemacher, a Lima, Ohio resident who testified at the hearing, was one of those consumers.

    Wannemacher described how he had maxed out his $3,000 Chase Bank card to pay for his wedding, and found himself falling further and further behind in payments as he had more expenses to take care of. Despite pleas to Chase to work with him, the bank continued to pile on late fees and penalty fees.

    “Debt seems to invoke a feeling of hopelessness unlike any other problem I’ve encountered,” Wannemacher said. “When a debtor calls you on the phone and you make a minimum payment, you know that you’ve made no real progress and that in a month, they will be calling again.”

    Eventually Wannemacher ended up owing $7,500 in interest fees, late payment fees, and overlimit fees on an original debt of $3,200.

    Even after making payments totaling $6,300, he still owed $4,400 in fees. Wannamacher had contacted Levin’s office, who invited him to testify. Right before he did so, Chase agreed to forgive the balance on his account.

    WTF, seriously? This guy decided to put on a wedding more lavish than he could afford. He did it. He got the goods. He overcharged the amount of credit that he had. Guess what, that is against the terms, and they assess fees for that. It says it in every terms of service pamphlet I have gotten from a credit card company. Also, there is this thing called interest. The credit card companies charge interest when you borrow money from them. They charge interest on the interest you owe them if you don’t pay it off right away. They charge interest on the late fees if you don’t pay those off right away. Also, if you start screwing up your account, they raise your interest rate. Those pretty rates are ones that they offer to financially responsible people.

    Don’t get me wrong, I know the credit card companies prey upon the weakness and stupidity and fucked up sense of entitlement of the masses. They advertise and advertise and try to lure people in and it gives people the false sense that they should spend money they probably shouldn’t spend. I am not a fan of the credit card companies for a pile of reasons, from their marketing practices (quit offering pre-approved cards to my dog, thank you very much), to their constant mailings because of the changes in the terms of service that happen every 5 days, to their complete lack of decent customer service. Those are just more reasons to read the application carefully. Then if you choose to apply, read all the damn paperwork they send you. If you don’t agree cut up the card and close the damn account. If a chance is made to the terms of service after you already carry a balance with them, you can quit using the card and notify them in writing that you do not agree and you pay off the debt according to your old terms.

    The credit card companies are not getting people into this situation. The people are getting themselves into it. It isn’t really their fault though, at least that is what my government is telling me. I guess a government that can’t balance the fucking budget would have to believe that. I wonder how much this hearing cost our nation?

  • Open Letter: Naked Flickr Folks Edition

    Dear Flickr Idiots,

    In my past two visits to MY Flickr start page I was treated to a man sitting naked, spread legged, with his penis front and center, and a badly lit, out of focus, manually spread vagina under the “Everyone’s Photos” section.

    I do not wish to see these things. Yes, you are allowed to post bad photos to flickr. Yes, you are allowed to post nude photos to flickr. However, you are not supposed to post nude photos to flickr visible to the public stream. Don’t do it.

    “DON’T -Upload photos that include frontal nudity, genitalia and/or “intimate moments” between consenting partners in public areas of Flickr If you do we’ll make your photostream private and remind you of this Guideline. If you don’t heed our warning and continue to make similar content public, we’ll terminate your account without warning. This applies to your Buddy Icon as well.”

    Learn how to use privacy settings as well as the “hide this photo” option.

    “What does the “hide this photo” link on my photo page do?
    If you’re uploading something that you probably wouldn’t show your mum, use the “hide this photo” link to make sure the image won’t come up in public site areas. This is desirable behavior. :)”

    Please pretend you have a societally normal relationship with your mum while you are determining this.

    I promise that if I want to see your nakid bits, I won’t be shy about asking, but in the meantime keep your vagina off of my start page.

    Also, learn to take better photos of it.

    Thank you.

  • Useless Things

    The internet helps me to save time, and helps me to waste it. So far today, I am choosing to waste time. Perhaps I will change my mind later.

    Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

     

    Belief-O-Matic
    Your Results:

    The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

    Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

    1. Nontheist (100%)
    2. Secular Humanism (100%)
    3. Theravada Buddhism (83%)
    4. Unitarian Universalism (83%)
    5. Liberal Quakers (45%)
    6. Neo-Pagan (37%)
    7. Taoism (20%)
    8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (18%)
    9. New Age (10%)
    10. Bah�’� Faith (0%)
    11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (0%)
    12. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (0%)
    13. Eastern Orthodox (0%)
    14. Hinduism (0%)
    15. Islam (0%)
    16. Jainism (0%)
    17. Jehovah’s Witness (0%)
    18. Mahayana Buddhism (0%)
    19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (0%)
    20. New Thought (0%)
    21. Orthodox Judaism (0%)
    22. Orthodox Quaker (0%)
    23. Reform Judaism (0%)
    24. Roman Catholic (0%)
    25. Scientology (0%)
    26. Seventh Day Adventist (0%)
    27. Sikhism (0%)

    Take this quiz

  • Useful Things

    MSN displays local gas prices. They are not the only site that does it, but I do find the ones that get updates from the gas stations to be more reliable than the user reported sites. Unfortunately they do not cover the membership gas stations (like Costco, at least not in my area). I still find them very useful.

    When it comes to shopping, I prefer to shop online. When you go to shop at a store, there are people there. I don’t like that. There are people online too, but they interfere with my shopping somewhat less. I am also cheap. Therefore I like things which make it easier to get what I want for less. Froogle is some help there.

    I use fatwallet to look for deals and coupons and to get rebates.

    I also shop at bookcloseouts. It is like browsing through the bargain tables in a bookstore, but with a much better search feature.

    DVDpricesearch was a big favorite because the shopping cart features allow me to figure out the best place overall to get things, and also keep track of things I want to purchase when they finally get cheap enough. I don’t use them as much anymore because I was able to get a bit of a handle on my DVD purchasing addicition by using Netflix. They let me take coupons into account too. gamepricezone by the same guy is also useful, but now we almost always just “keep it” from gamefly, which tends to be cheaper. Gamefly is terrific, it lets us play a lot more games while spending a lot less on games that turn out to not be enjoyable to us.

    Of course ebay is good for locating deals or unusual things online. I like using jbidwatcher. Unfortunately due to some assholes he might quite working on the project. I’ve donated to him in the past.

  • More On How I Feel About the Medical Industry

    First I will start with the general.

    I do not like the medical profession laying their personal, or societal opinions on an individuals medical care unless they are specifically asked, “Well, what would you do?”

    Then I will move onto a story about somebody I knew.

    There was a woman who used to clean my house. She was nice enough, but unfortunately was entirely too chatty. As the result I know a lot more about her than is reasonable. Now you will know it too.

    When I first met her she was barely 22 years old and had just given birth to her third baby. Her first one she had when she was 16. The first two were with one guy, this third one was with a different guy, but she still considered the father of the first two “The love of her life, that she knows she is meant to be with again someday.” She swore that they were using birth control for all three pregnancies. She told me that during pregnancy number two she kept telling her doctor she wanted her tubes tied when the baby was born. Her doctor insisted she was too young to make such a decision.

    Prior to baby number three being born, one of the other girls suffered a severe head injury and became disabled. The woman was 20, no reasonable education, unmarried with two children and one of whom had extra educational and medical needs. During pregnancy number three she again repeatedly told her doctor that she wanted to have her tubes tied. Again she was told that she was too young to make such a decision. When baby number three was less than a year old she became pregnant for the fourth time, again swearing that they were using birth control (who knows if they’d ever been given decent instructions on HOW to use it).

    A doctor finally agreed to sterilize her at that point, two kids after she started requesting it.

    Finally we will get on to the personal.

    I have one kid. I am pro choice. I meant to have that kid. I was not absolutely positively certain that we would stop with one kid.

    We waited. We thought about it. We talked about it. We were pretty damn sure. We waited some more. We talked about it more. We decided. This took place over the span of years, not days.

    I went and saw a doctor and told them that I was done. She laughed and told me that I would change my mind. She did not want to refer me to anyone. Nothing. She just said I was too young (which I think “they” term as under 30 with 0 or 1 kid) to make that choice, and that (I kid you fucking not, she said this to me) “It isn’t right to have your daughter grow up so lonely.”

    I did not kill her on the spot. I hope somebody is as amazed by this as I am. As far as I know, she is still alive and practicing medicine. I never saw her again. If anything happened to her, it was not me.

    Now all I was going to do was talk and get pamphlets. We were still strongly leaning toward him having a procedure rather than me having something done, but I was not done researching. At that point we knew one person who had a vasectomy that they were not happy with. We knew several who had them who were happy and felt it had been no problem at all.

    After a bit of time (as I have mentioned before we tend to avoid doctors whenever possible) we finally got to a point where we set foot into a medical setting again. This time we let him try. We got a little bit further. They were willing to give him a referral, after he attended a class. This pissed me off to no end. I was furious. We are supposed to have medical privacy and being forced by insurance to go to a group class on any sort of medical condition or procedure as a condition to getting the care that you are requesting was completely beyond acceptable to me. I began throwing fits left and right and before we got very far with that our insurance coverage changed. Yes, I am choosing publicly to talk about this NOW, but that is my choice. They were holding the procedure hostage in order to force public discussion on it.

    By the time we got back to the subject yet again we knew two more men who had vasectomies who were very unhappy with the procedure and the outcome. (chronic pain, decreased sensation from orgasms, etc) I know that the vast majority of people have no problem, and a lot of the medical community discount the complaints out there, but these were people who I did not think were likely to be having psychosomatic complaints. I needed more time to research.

    Then I got sick. I’ve talked about that before.

    Finally I was ready to look into everything again and this time I found Essure. That looked very interesting to me. First I contacted a retired gynecologist who happens to be a friend’s father to ask him what he knew about it. It had come about after he gave up his practice, so he contacted colleagues to get opinions and got back to me. He also helped me formulate some questions that he felt any decent doctor should answer.

    I took his questions, did some additional research and added questions of my own. Pulling a list of doctors listed on the Essure website that happened to be covered by my insurance, I contacted fifteen of them. Fourteen by letters and one by email. The one who responded by email responded quickly and was great, but I was not thrilled with his answers to my questions. I liked very much that he communicated effectively by email, and I also liked that he was giving up the OB portion of his practice because that would make him a more effective doctor for me. However, he just had not performed the procedure enough times and with enough success that I was comfortable seeing him in this case.

    Thirteen doctors ignored me completely.

    One other had his nurse call me to give me the answers to my questions. I wasn’t thrilled with having the nurse call, but the answers to the questions were decent. I booked an appointment to meet him in person.

    I arrived on time to a fairly empty waiting room. I had to wait for 40 minutes before they took me to a room and another 20 minutes for him to appear. We spoke and were okay with the responses to each others questions. He remembered the letter and we talked a about his history with the procedure. He actually wanted to know if, should I go ahead and use him and do the procedure, whether I would be willing to be filmed for the local evening news. We also decided I should get a shot of Depo because that gives the best chance for the procedure to go well (condition of the cervix and endometrial lining) and we worked out when the right time for the procedure would be. Sounds good, right? Then it turns out the do not have the Depo in their office and I have to go downstairs to the pharmacy to get it. They write a prescription and send me down. This eats up more of my day as I have to wait.

    In the meantime I called my husband to discuss this television news idea. On the one hand I despised the idea of having a camera anywhere near me. On the other hand it seemed like the doctor would work extra hard not to fuck it up if a camera was there. Also I very strongly believe in getting any and all reproductive choice options out there for people to be aware of. We decided it was creepy and we were not comfortable with it, but that assuming all the details, as ironed out, worked for us, we should go ahead and do it.

    When they finally had the prescription filled for me they tell me insurance will not cover it. It is ridiculously expensive. Insurance won’t cover it because they will only pay for a 30 day supply from a local pharmacy and it lasts for 90 days. They will only cover it if the doctor has it in their office and it is used as part of the office appointment.

    *sigh*

    So I paid the exorbitant fee for the liquid and returned back upstairs because, of course, they only give me a little bottle, no syringe. I give the pets vaccinations, surely I could give myself a damn shot. Diabetics do it all the time. Instead I went back upstairs to the doctor’s office and was forced to wait again in the waiting room. Finally they stuck me back into an exam room where I waited some more. Eventually a nurse showed up and gave me a shot.

    I asked her when the procedure will be scheduled for. She told me that the scheduling person wasn’t in, but that she would call me within the next 10 days. She said that if I didn’t hear from the woman within two weeks, I should call.

    Now, here is the thing. They are running a business. They get real money to do this procedure on me. They actually have a woman who gets paid specifically to schedule procedures and book the operating rooms. That is her job. I am the customer. I already reached out to get the process rolling. I do not want to be having to chase people down to convince them to do their damn job.

    I explained to the nurse that it is very important that the scheduling person call me, because I will not call back. I point out how many years it had been since my last pap. They needed to call me. She said that she usually calls and she’d be sure to mark my folder correctly and put it in the right pile.

    I told her that I had spoken to my husband and we were willing to do the TV show, so she said the doctor would speak to the PR person from Essure and they would get back to me on that with the details and paperwork.

    I left. I had been there for four hours. 4. Not, 3 hours – 4 hours. I had to go home and load the car and drive to Seattle. Really, no problem I don’t mind it taking four damn hours to spend 20 minutes interacting with the actual medical people.

    They never called.

    I’ve now switched insurance, so I can’t go to him anyway unless I want to pay it completely out of pocket, and why would I want to when their office staff can’t fucking get it together enough to call and schedule me an appointment. They had months in which they could have. This is when I was willing to do them the favor of being their promotional poster girl on the evening news!

    But wait, the reason I am writing this is that I was reminded once again when I got a past due bill from them. They need $80 from me for giving me the injection (which I only got because I was supposed to have the procedure) which my insurance would not cover because they were injecting something that was not supplied by their office. They want 80 fucking dollars to have some fucktwit put on latex gloves, tear a package with a syringe in it, stick the syringe into the vial, draw the liquid into the syringe, and then stick a needle in my ass and depress the plunger. It took her less than a fucking minute.

    So there you have it, yet another example of why I am always so aggravated whenever I even think I might need to deal with anything remotely medical.

  • reply from Costco

    Thank you for your email to Costco Wholesale.

    Legacy items are PRE-new policy. Members who purchased prior to the new policy are grandfathered in, so the new limits do not affect them. The revised policy only applies to purchases after the policy change date.

    Thank you,

    Costco Wholesale Corporation

  • My Homeschooling Experience – Part 1

    On one of my local homeschooling lists the topic of “Why do YOU homeschool?” came up last week, with everybody happily sending out their uplifting touchy-feely and typically godly reasons for homeschooling. I would never respond on the list to such a thread, because, like most places in my life, I do not fit in. It isn’t that I particularly care about being even more the black sheep than I already am, I don’t. Our kid has to function in this community though, so I tend to keep my mouth shut a lot. That, and I don’t really care to waste my breath.
    (more…)

  • Costco’s New Return Policy

    We guarantee your satisfaction on every product we sell, with a full refund. Exceptions: Televisions, computers, cameras, camcorders, iPOD / MP3 players and cellular phones must be returned within 90 days of purchase for a refund.

    Now, I did not use Costco’s return policy as a way to get free upgrades. However the policy was part of the reason I shopped at Costco. It was not about cheap prices. The prices were decent, but usually I could find things for cheaper elsewhere. I spent the extra amount at Costco because it was like buying an extended warranty. I have returned a few expensive items because they quit working in an amount of time that was not acceptable for an item of that price point. I’ve also just tossed out cheap items which quit working. I have also bought plenty of things on impulse because “I can always return them if I change my mind.” Most of those never found their way back either, even if the box was never opened. Obviously their policy quit working for them, and I am aware of many people who routinely abused it. It is no doubt easier overall for them to change it across the board than to limit certain customers (although since they keep track of all purchases by account they could easily see who the abusers are.

    Anyhow since I have often been known for pimping Costco, I thought I’d point out the change. I’ve sent them an email to verify that purchases under the old policy would still be honored under that return policy. It is why we just spent more to purchase an MP3 player at Costco than we could have gotten it for at Amazon.