Tag: children

  • Weekend Update

    There is a girl who lives nearby. We met her and her family almost immediately upon moving into this house and her and my daughter began hanging out. There have been times when they have spent more time together and times when they’ve spent less time together. I’ve never actively encouraged the friendship because I do not care for the parenting style of her parents. At the same time I have not discouraged the relationship either. There are certain things I will not allow when I feel their parenting would possibly impact my daughter’s safety, but as far as whether or not the girl makes a good friend, I’ve tried to leave that up to my daughter to sort out on her own.

    I had several reasons behind this. For one, I did not want to hold the girl responsible for what her parents have done, as long as she could more or less manage to behave herself in a way that didn’t irritate the crap out of me, I didn’t mind her being around. Also, I will not be standing beside my daughter throughout her life. She needs to determine for herself how to make judgments about people and exactly how much she is willing to put up with. She needs to learn how to sort out relationship problems on her own. I am more than happy to give her my opinion, even when she doesn’t want it, but I also try to acknowledge all the other points of view and leave the important parts, like whether or not to consider the girl a friend up to her. I will restrict her from taking part in certain activities with a person, but I will not make some ill-conceived attempt to control her feelings for another person. That would just lead to her stubbornly hanging onto horrible relationships just to prove me wrong. Besides, I have disliked more of her playmates than I’ve liked, so if I asserted my influence too strongly she’d just grow up to be a hermit on a hill with a rifle, and dammit I already called dibs.

    Anyhow, last year this girl started middle school (and her period) and she has been a-changin’. She has new friends who have labeled my daughter as “syoopid” because she doesn’t like The Pussy Cat Dolls, doesn’t watch the new whorrific Puddy Cat Dolls reality show, and she freakishly likes showtunes “what r thos?” Recently it has degenerated further. The girl began to make prank phone calls. When my daughter called her on it (between recognizing her voice, and umm… you know, caller ID) she got pissed off. Little neighborhood miss then decided to pass around our daughter’s cell phone number to a few friends. “I didn’t call you. That was my cousin. If you don’t believe me you are a bad friend and I don’t like you anymore.”

    Ah, the joys of being an adolescent.

    Now I am truthfully beyond fucking irritated because A) cell phone minutes cost money, and she is on a very restrictive plan because we mainly got it so we could be in touch with each other, I have no interest in her wandering about with a phone attached to her head all the time and B) I HATE NOISE so the damn thing ringing over and over is pissing me the fuck off.

    My first instinct is to walk over to the girl’s house and just give her a good spanking, followed perhaps by doing something violent with her phone. I really need my daughter to decide for herself how to handle it, and hopefully to put some actual thought into it first and not just jump into something. We’ve discussed various options and possible and likely results. Now I am waiting. Of course to top it all off my daughter is feeling hurt and pissed off. This means I am stuck in the house with a moody creature.

    So, how is your weekend?

  • 2hyp0cr1t1cal4m3

    There is a website called 2smrt4u. The U.S. Postal Inspection Service and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children joined together to fund a site to help teach safe and smart internet usage to teens.

    They have some reasonable tips, such as:

    DON’T
    • Post your cell phone number, address, or the name of your school
    • Post your friends’ names, ages, phone numbers, school names, or addresses
    • Add people as friends to your site unless you know them in person
    • Communicate with people you don’t know
    • Give out your password to anyone other than your parent or guardian
    • Meet in person with anyone you first “met” on a social networking site
    • Respond to harassing or rude comments posted on your profile
    • Make or post plans and activities on your site
    • Post photos with school names, locations, license plates, or signs
    • Post photos with the name of your sports team
    • Post sexually provocative photos
    • Respond to threatening or negative emails or IMs

    Not that I agree 100% with all of them, but it gives a better starting point than some kids have been given before.

    However…

    They also offer an IM ICON  , you know, so you can present yourself as a challenge and dare stalkers to try to find you.

    Best of all they are giving away a free ring. Really. It is free. All they want you to do is tell them your date of birth, your address and whether you are male or female. Don’t worry, they won’t ask for your address if you say you are under the age of 13.

    So obviously, it is teaching excellent online habits.