Bitchy McBitcherson's Blog

Tag: People

  • Open Letter: Naked Flickr Folks Edition

    Dear Flickr Idiots,

    In my past two visits to MY Flickr start page I was treated to a man sitting naked, spread legged, with his penis front and center, and a badly lit, out of focus, manually spread vagina under the “Everyone’s Photos” section.

    I do not wish to see these things. Yes, you are allowed to post bad photos to flickr. Yes, you are allowed to post nude photos to flickr. However, you are not supposed to post nude photos to flickr visible to the public stream. Don’t do it.

    “DON’T -Upload photos that include frontal nudity, genitalia and/or “intimate moments” between consenting partners in public areas of Flickr If you do we’ll make your photostream private and remind you of this Guideline. If you don’t heed our warning and continue to make similar content public, we’ll terminate your account without warning. This applies to your Buddy Icon as well.”

    Learn how to use privacy settings as well as the “hide this photo” option.

    “What does the “hide this photo” link on my photo page do?
    If you’re uploading something that you probably wouldn’t show your mum, use the “hide this photo” link to make sure the image won’t come up in public site areas. This is desirable behavior. :)”

    Please pretend you have a societally normal relationship with your mum while you are determining this.

    I promise that if I want to see your nakid bits, I won’t be shy about asking, but in the meantime keep your vagina off of my start page.

    Also, learn to take better photos of it.

    Thank you.

  • One More Thing I Don’t Understand

    We went out for lunch today at a quick casual restaurant. There were five of us. When we were finished ordering and wanted to pick a table, we had a difficult time. There were a lot of tables and booths available. They were all for three or four people. Every single five or six person table or booth was taken. All but one of those was taken by only one or two people. One was being used by a party of four. What makes a single person think that they should take up a six person table? It just would not occur to me.

  • People Make Me TIRED

    A couple of weeks ago I made a black & white 8 X 10 ad for somebody to use in some dumbass program they were buying an ad in.

    Last week they contacted me wanting to know if I still had a copy, and wanting me to send a PDF of it to another email address. They were purchasing an ad in a new program. Let’s not even address the fact that the first ad was personalized to the program it was being printed in.

    I asked, “You are getting another 8 x 10 ad?” It is an usually large ad.

    He asked, “Does it matter?”

    (more…)

  • 2hyp0cr1t1cal4m3

    There is a website called 2smrt4u. The U.S. Postal Inspection Service and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children joined together to fund a site to help teach safe and smart internet usage to teens.

    They have some reasonable tips, such as:

    DON’T
    • Post your cell phone number, address, or the name of your school
    • Post your friends’ names, ages, phone numbers, school names, or addresses
    • Add people as friends to your site unless you know them in person
    • Communicate with people you don’t know
    • Give out your password to anyone other than your parent or guardian
    • Meet in person with anyone you first “met” on a social networking site
    • Respond to harassing or rude comments posted on your profile
    • Make or post plans and activities on your site
    • Post photos with school names, locations, license plates, or signs
    • Post photos with the name of your sports team
    • Post sexually provocative photos
    • Respond to threatening or negative emails or IMs

    Not that I agree 100% with all of them, but it gives a better starting point than some kids have been given before.

    However…

    They also offer an IM ICON  , you know, so you can present yourself as a challenge and dare stalkers to try to find you.

    Best of all they are giving away a free ring. Really. It is free. All they want you to do is tell them your date of birth, your address and whether you are male or female. Don’t worry, they won’t ask for your address if you say you are under the age of 13.

    So obviously, it is teaching excellent online habits.

  • I Do Not “Love You Man”

    Tonight I took the dogs out to the backyard to go to the bathroom and have dinner, and discovered a can of Bud Light tossed into our yard. Because of the nature of access to our yard, the only two likely suspects are the landscaping crew that takes care of the neighborhood, and I have never seen them do anything like that, or friends of the teen aged girl next door. In the past when she has had parties people have thrown chewed gum into our yard. One actually has to make quite an effort to do that, because our yard is significantly above theirs. It cannot happen accidentally as they try to throw it to some spot in her yard.

    Now the woman who lives next door is, most days of the year, a very decent neighbor. She is friendly when appropriate. She leaves us alone most of the time. She never trims a tree that is on our property, but hanging over hers, without checking in with us first. She’s provided alcohol for our drinking pleasure on more than one occasion.

    She has two daughters, only one of whom still lives at home. The daughters do like to throw parties when Mom is away. I doubt that either of the people living next door is throwing shit into my backyard, but like it or not, people will judge you by the company you keep.

    Tonight, I am not thinking warm and happy thoughts about the neighbors.

    I do not fucking like shit to be thrown into my backyard. Not one little fucking bit.

    The fact you only run with people who drive disgustingly expensive fucking cars does not mean you have found people with class.

    Go out and find yourselves some friends with better manners and better taste. Bud Light is disgusting.

  • Post 1 of The Things I Like Series

    Having been raised to give some serious respect to Thumper’s Rule, I spend a lot of time silent. People who know me a little might be shocked to hear that, because I certainly don’t seem shy about complaining. People who know me well realize I keep much more of my rampant disgust and dissatisfaction to myself.

    So, I thought I’d try some posts about things that I actually like.

    But first, I’ll start with the negative.

    I have the shittiest luck in movie theaters. I can go to a matinee show of a film that has been in theaters for 8 weeks, and I will still have a shitty experience. When I go to the movie theater, one of the following will occur:

    • people will bring their 4 children ranging from infant to 8 years old to see an R-rated movie and let them run around screaming the whole time
    • people will let their child sit behind me and kick my seat the entire movie
    • people will answer their cell phone and talk to the person during the movie “nothing… just watching this dumb movie”
    • people will make-out stretched across the seats with their head almost in my lap
    • people will have belching contests and laugh hysterically at how cool they are
    • people will have blue flame contests and laugh hysterically at how cool they are
    • people will change their baby’s shitty diaper seat next to me and then leave the diaper sitting there
    • people who get off on violent rape scenes will sit next to me and become extremely and noisily excited during them
    • people will threaten to kill me because I ask them to be quiet
    • people will vomit and just continue sitting there
    • people will leave their young, unruly, poorly behaved, unsupervised, rude, snotty (usually literally) children to watch the film I am seeing, and go watch a different movie themselves

    Often, more than one of them occurs.

    It isn’t that I hate movie theaters, just people.

    Because movie theaters don’t work well for me, we use Netflix, and I find it a reasonably painless way to rent movies. Prior to Netflix, I hadn’t rented a movie in at least five years and was instead supplying any film watching desires with an out of control DVD purchasing addiction. Netflix did a lot to help soften the addiction. What is with the rating system though? 5 stars? Who can make any meaningful rating and comparison of a movie with a measly 5 stars. I need at least 10, and I really want at least 20 points on the rating curve to measure things effectively.

    They only give me 5 though, which makes some of my ratings come out a bit odd. There is always the quality factor to consider, as well as the enjoyment factor. Plus, how difficult am I to please in a particular genre? If I tend to hate movies in a genre and then enjoy one, it deserves a different boost to its rating than a movie that has everything going for it as far as my personal taste is concerned and yet only manages to not be disappointing. Even though at the end of the day I might think the second movie is better.

    Favorite is too strong of statement and I don’t use it often. I can’t even imaging trying to narrow it down to a favorite movie. I am just going to list a random 5 (not in order, nor necessarily the top 5) by genre, that I gave 5 Netflix stars to.

    Foreign: La Femme Nikita, Cinema Paradiso, The Wedding Banquet, Battle Royale, Amelie

    Animated: Bambi, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Iron Giant

    Comedy: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Heathers, Swingers, Dazed and Confused, Bring It On

    Drama: Dangerous Liaisons, The Shawshank Redemption, Dogfight, I Am Sam, Dead Poets Society

    Horror: Nightbreed, Scream, An American Werewolf in London, The Lost Boys, Something Wicked This Way Comes

    Action/Adventure: Thelma and Louise, Die Hard, Indiana Jones, War Games, Young Guns

    Thriller: Killing Zoe, Falling Down, The Usual Suspects, Death and the Maiden, Closet Land

    Romance: Garden State, The Man in the Moon, Before Sunset, Say Anything, Sliding Doors

    Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Serenity, Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Highlander, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

    So there, some things that I liked in some fashion for a wide range of reasons I am not going to detail out.

  • Another step toward becoming a hermit, on a mountain… with a shotgun (and internet access)

    We were running out of things we needed, important things, like dog food. Since I know that if we go too long without dog food, we’ll become the food, I forced myself to go to the grocery store.

    I had forgotten to make a list, so the shopping experience took longer and was more frustrating than usual, except in many ways that is the usual. I even knocked an item off the shelf and broke it, creating a mess. “Clean up on aisle 13!” I was finally ready to checkout, and there was only one line open. There were 10 people ahead of me (but some were together), and as I waited 3 more people joined the line behind me. People were getting antsy.

    The Assistant Manager spoke to the cashier and then walked over to another lane. As the cashier informed the people in our line that another check stand would be opening, an older woman walked up with her cart to where the AM was getting signed in to the register. The AM had not turned on the light. The older woman asked, “Are you open?” Obviously she thought we were all stupid. Of course the line was open, but we couldn’t be bothered to ask and just preferred to queue up with more than a dozen other people. The AM pointed toward our long line and told her, “I’ll be opening up, but I’ll be taking the next person in line.”

    The older woman huffed and muttered something under her breath.

    Meanwhile, in the line I am waiting in, everybody looks at each other to determine who is splitting off and who is staying. The next person in line already had her items on the belt. The people behind her decided to peel off for the new lane. This was a group of six people who were all there together, but paying separately. They only had four items between them. The person directly in front of me elected to stay in line, so I went to the new line and one person behind me followed.

    The older woman was pissed. She grumbled her way over to the first line I had been in, at exactly the place she would have been had she got into line to start with, complaining the whole way about “people cutting in front of her”. When she got up to the cashier she asked who was in charge, and the cashier pointed to the AM. This angered the older woman even more. The AM is trying to answer her angry accusations from the other lane, which slows her considerably in getting through my order.

    This allowed the older woman to finish checking out before me. She then came over and started complaining up close and personal to the AM. The AM was trying to finish ringing me up, but the older woman kept interrupting her. She wanted the manager’s name and phone number and the AM told her it was printed on the bottom of her receipt. The older woman insisted that the AM write it down for her and write down her own name. The AM finished helping me first, enraging the customer further. Essentially she was pissed off because she thought that the AM should have only taken one person from the other line, and then allowed her to be second. She said the AM had treated her badly by saying she was “taking the next person in line” but then taking more than one per person from the line. Absolutely nobody had gotten checked out ahead of her who hadn’t already been in line when she came up to the front of the store. Not only that but all her arguing meant that two people finished AFTER she did. She didn’t even seem to be in much of a hurry, since she was still hanging out to gripe long after her own transaction was complete.

    I checked over my receipt until MrsGrumpyBritches finally stomped and muttered her way out the door, and then I gave the AM my business card and told her that if manager had any questions, she could call me.

    I try to avoid leaving my house, it rarely works out well for me. Stupid dogs.

  • Happy Anniversary to a couple of couples and a big one fingered salute to a bunch of voters

    I have married 5 people.

    Of course I realize that I could state that in a less confusing way off the bat, but I choose not to.

    I’ve been married once, to a man that I married more than 12 years ago, and that I am still happily married to.

    The other 4 people are two couples that I officiated the marriages of.

    Several years back I knew a couple who was getting married. Neither of them was active in a church, so rather than hire a random person they did not know to perform the wedding, a friend of theirs became ordained online. He was legally able to perform their wedding.

    I thought that sounded great. When we got married, we had a judge come to our wedding to handle the paperwork. It worked out fine, but it would have been better if we had thought to use a friend instead. Thus sprouted the idea that I would like to marry somebody, and a couple of weeks later, before it could die off, a friend called to tell me she was engaged. Seeing my chance, I said, “Congratulations! Can I marry you?” She laughed, and asked some questions and it turned out to be the perfect solution to their problem, since they had already decided they did not want a religious ceremony.

    I read up on the details, verified that all would be legal in our state, and made sure I knew what we would all need to do. I got myself ordained online and helped them plan the wedding. I helped them write their vows. I designed the ceremony and wrote my part. The big day finally arrived and it all went off without a hitch. It was really special to me to be involved in their wedding in such a way, and they were happy to have somebody who actually cared about them perform the wedding.

    A lot of people came up to me during the reception to ask about it. A few were interested in having me perform their wedding, but I encouraged them to involve somebody they were close to. I certainly wouldn’t mind doing it, but part of the point was to further personalize the wedding day.

    A few years later another couple I knew was engaged. They wanted to get married legally and then wait a few years until they had the wedding so they could save up money and throw the party the way they wanted it. So I told them what they needed to do, and they came over to my house and we did all the paperwork in my kitchen. Then we went out for some dinner and beer. Good times.

    I’ve been thinking about it lately. Partly because the first couple recently celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary and couple number two is about to celebrate their second. A lot of it has been because of the elections and the news about craptastic discriminatory laws relating to marriage. When we passed the embarrassing thing back in 2000, Proposition 22 “California Defense of Marriage Act” I was totally disgusted both by the sentiment and the name. I am mildly sorry that so many people are insecure in their marriages, but mine isn’t in need of any defending, thank you very much.