More Whining

I sort of more or less chilled this weekend and tried to relax, but today came and the overwhelming stress of all I need to get done hit and I could not stop kicking myself for not staying on task. I was so busy kicking myself, I couldn’t really manage to get back on task. It was a shit day.

I did make a small batch of chicken stock, which is now cooling. I much prefer homemade stock to store bought, because I control what goes in it, and it is more cost effective too. Chicken stock is a staple item in my kitchen. I think that is pretty much the extent of my accomplishments today, and it was a small batch.

I did a little bit of grocery shopping today, but that was also an exercise in stress. Basically anything that I cannot find, that was a regular thing for me to purchase “back home” sends me into a fit of feeling sorry for myself, as if I need any extra help with that. I am really just pathetic and annoying at this point, even to myself, and I know I am a pain in the ass for other people to deal with.

It is no help that I am leaving in a few days on one trip, and then getting back and leaving almost right away on another trip (but having to cram in a work party in between). This will be basically another whole month without my husband and I am just already so done with being apart.

I also just utterly do not have the energy or patience to be the mother to a teenager. Yet, there she is, every day. It isn’t just the act of parenting that takes so much energy, it is being near the orbit of all that teenage baggage. It just sucks the life out of me.

Tomorrow I get to go be around dozens of teenagers. Also I get to go to a church. That is where an area homeschool teen group has their monthly meetings. If I never post again, assume I burst into flames, from one or the other. Or perhaps it will be having to meet the homeschooling parents that will do me in.

We are also supposed to bring some sort of potluck dish for lunch (which I failed to remember about while grocery shopping), a tray of cookies to share, which I think I am just going to refuse (Holy shit, a TRAY of cookies from every family? I don’t even want to be around that many teens when they haven’t consumed 4 pounds of sugar each), plus a can or two for the church food pantry (which I also failed to remember while grocery shopping). Tomorrow morning I will go to the grocery store and sort something out for that meeting, and no doubt have another pity party over not finding what I want and am familiar with.

Is there a magic potluck dish that will make them like my daughter and make her feel welcome and happy here? Is there one which will make them hate her and make her so miserable that I never have to go to one of these damn meetings again? Can I just bring a bunch of eggplant and okra? I suppose what I really need to do is the same thing I do at every potluck. Eat before I go.

I feel like shit.

Dog Brains
Oh, give me a small break, please.

Tags - - - -

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *